I woke up feeling old, like an ancient relic forgotten in the back of an antic closet. It was a moment of clarity, the realisation that my twenties were behind me for good and the ‘dirty 30s’ were here to stay (although why they are dirty is beyond me, by the age 30 you should know better than to skip showers).
It couldn’t be just me who felt like this so I messaged a few friends. One sent me back a funny meme and the other agreed, she too felt that 30s came with their own challenges.
We reminisced at how confident we seemed in our 20s, we had our lives mapped out and had a sense of possibility. We set goals and achieved them because we were always knew what we wanted. Our 30s loomed in the horizon like a distant mirage, not really clear but even then we were confident they would turn out as good as our 20s. Then you hit the 30s and things sort of don’t go as planned.
While it is easy to call this a ¾ life crisis and mull over what could have been, reading this Huff Post article really put things in perspective for me.
Life is for living, we can decide to focus on what we have rather than what we don’t.
I have great memories from my 20s. Some of my life long friendships were solidified at this time and learning experiences that I wouldn’t have any other way happened but still I know don’t need to relive that period. A new season is here and the 30s so far, have brought a new maturity, a beauty if you will, here are some of the things I have learned…
Let it go
Sometimes trying to make things right does not work. Sometimes our idea of how things should be will not match up to the reality of how things are, and this is okay. Let it go. Relationships may not always turn out the way you expect them to, people will disappoint you, and you them, let it go. You holding on to what could have been done better will not change things. Holding on to a grudge can feel strangely satisfying but it will not give you peace. Letting go of a situation and letting God handle it may seem like stock advise from an aunty but, there is something to surrendering a situation and focussing on other things that makes your load less heavy and your path clearer. Also, listen to your aunty.
One of my best friends has this tattooed inside her wrist.. a constant reminder that whatever life throws at her, she must keep living, keep going. So far it has served her well, from following her interests to pursuing new challenges.. Your 30s do not mean life is over, it’s easy to look at spritely 20-somethings achieving stuff and feel like your time has passed, it hasn’t. If anything it is here, in the now. Always wanted to take that solo trip, do it. Always wanted to learn how to bake? Do it. Always wanted to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?…er.. do it!. Nobody’s judging you and if they are, well you are to busy living life to care.
So you are not the belle of the ball as you used to be, the thought of late nights out gives you a rash but you still secretly envy those shiny faced party pictures on IG because they make you feel as if you are:
a) Missing out
b) Are too old and..
c) Not as fun anymore.
Well… guess what? Fun is what you make it. I know of women who have taken up mountain climbing, bike riding, hiking in their 30s and are better for it. It’s a big world and there is so much to do. Going out may be fun but it’s not the only way to have fun. Gratitude also means loving yourself, 30s brings it’s own set of body issues, you may gain or loose weight more easily, you will no longer be able to sorely survive on Mcfries chicken and chips (pimples, pots, all those thing you don’t want…I know you dey tire 😂). If you ever needed a lesson on listening to your body, 30s will teach you. Accept that you are one or two years older and wiser, not everyone made it but you are here and that is something to be thankful for.